It’s never too embarrassing to talk about and it’s never so bad that you’ll be cast aside.
While this is the truth about sexual sin and struggle, too many girls and women have received the opposite message and gone into hiding where shame has had its way with them. Phylicia Delta is a woman who takes a stance against hiding and waves a banner for the redemption of Jesus to enter into every woman’s sex struggles and questions. Phylicia handles this topic with tact and grace and ushers in Christ’s love and healing. While interviewing Phylicia, I quickly found out that her heart also reaches every other corner of the female experience.
Phylicia Delta spends her days putting “feet to our theology in the everyday moments of life.” (phyliciadelta.com) Phylicia lives in Lancaster, Pennsylvania with her husband, Josh, and daughter, Adeline. The family recently moved from Lynchburg, Virginia. Phylicia is passionate about letting Jesus’ Lordship truly penetrate our entire lives. Phylicia’s writing is aimed to enrich young Christian women (teens and twenty somethings) but is applicable and holds wisdom for every woman in any stage of life.
Phylicia grew up seeking wisdom about how best to conduct Godly relationships with men. “While my own dating relationships (both with my husband and the men before him) have been flawed and had their failures, I hope my writing is transparent about those difficulties and how they can be overcome to achieve a relationship that glorifies God and puts the world to shame.” (phyliciadelta.com) Her writing now exists to share her own journey and to unashamedly put forth Biblical truth. She writes about everything from the mundane to our secret struggles.
Phylicia finds herself passionate about all things women: modesty, feminism, sexual sin, lies about dating, and transparent “day in the life” stories from her own marriage. Her blogs To the Girl with the Boring Testimony, Marry the Man Who Stays, and I Waited Until My Wedding Night to Lose My Virginity and It was the Best Thing I Ever Did give a great picture of her work and mission. Phylicia has a special ability to take into account the many different paths women are on in these areas and her writing reflects that sensitivity. Having come from a pressuring “purity culture” but still struggling sexually when single, she has a God-given compassion which the Spirit uses in her writing and ministry. She hopes to be a safe space for women to confide in and readily invites her readers into contact and conversation. She says wrestling with these topics and communicating them with a Biblical perspective often feels like walking a tight rope. As women we must hold each other to the standards of a holy life but continually pour out grace when there is failure and confusion.
Phylicia says, “I don’t ever want to write something on my blog that I don’t implement in my life.” She serves her readers by staying up to date about cultural trends and happenings and providing the Biblical perspective. Two years ago, she partnered with a fellow blogger and influence, Lisa Hensley, to begin a podcast called Uniquely Woman where the two discuss truth to help Christian women in the upstream swim against the culture. With each of these podcasts and with every post, Phylicia holds a philosophy of “closet before rooftop.” This is a phrase she learned from Beth Guckenberger of Back2Back ministries. It simply means that before we declare a truth or principle from the rooftops, we must take the thought to the Lord in prayer to receive confirmation and blessing. Phylicia’s messages are covered in this kind of prayer and consideration and have continually been a source of healing and redemption in women’s lives.
Phylicia’s favorite part of her blogging work is when she chances to meet readers in person. She says there’s a sweet connection immediately through their mutual love for God and journeys towards Him as women. She treasures those conversations as well as encouraging emails she receives from women who have been uplifted and encouraged by her blog. These stories motivate her and reassure her of the Lord’s work through her ministry.
A few of the most important influences in Phylicia’s life have been Psalm 37:4 and Milton Vincent’s The Gospel Primer. Psalm 37:4 states, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” Phylicia says, “We always desire something we don’t have at every stage in life.” She remembers praying over this verse in her single years and finding that once one desire is fulfilled, another surfaces. Our contentment is based on our satisfaction in the Lord and she desires above anything else that her readers would let their faith be strengthened by Jesus’ relentless love pursuit. Vincent’s book, The Gospel Primer, is one that Phylicia says she would give to every reader if she had the ability. It continually centers her on what the Gospel truly means and frees her from what’s become unnecessarily important in her life.
As if we aren’t already incredibly blessed by this woman’s voice, we have more to look forward to! Phylicia is currently working on an eBook about redemptive sexuality and has dreams about publishing a print book. She also would love to have an annual convention to discuss the topic of Christian sexuality for women to find healing and direction.
I asked Phylicia for one take away message for Christian women. She said, “We are as safe from sin and compromise as we are close to Christ.” Her prayer is that her fellow sisters would make time to spend with Jesus because the more our faith grows, the better eyes we have to see His world, way, and goodness. She says, “Writing is my way of learning.” With Phylicia, we have a mentor who is learning right alongside of us and recognizes the value in transparency and companionship.
If this is the first time you’ve heard of Phylicia Delta, visit her website, phyliciadelta.com!
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